Charlie's Ramblings

March 7th, 2010

   Watching the race in Atlanta off and on today while doing odd and end jobs.  Had to mow the back yard this morning making it the second time this year.  That old dead grass sure is dusty and a lot of good it did to shower this morning.  If the garden veggies grow as well as the weeds in the yard, one would be pleased.

  Me and the Mrs. have been trying to eat out the freezer and the pantry here lately.  Got canned goods that need to be consumed as the expiration dates are nearing.  The freezer is down enough now one can actually see the light in back.  Of course with hurricane season nearing, we will restock but will do so more selectively. 

  Over two dozen tomato plants were put in this past week and they are getting lots of TLC.  Hope to have a bumper crop this year as Walmart had tomatoes this morning priced at $2.48 a pound.  When tomatoes are expensive or not pretty, my older sister gave me a trick to use canned tomatoes in salads.  Works just as good and one drinks the juice.  Drained diced tomatoes are preferred in a salad, which are great with a good dollop of Marie’s Blue Cheese.

  Since tomatoes like onions, the garden border is lined with onions and then some.  Need to plant marigolds also as I have heard they are beneficial in a garden keeping away aphids.

  Peppermint repels ants, cabbage moths, aphids and flea beetles.

  Garlic discourages aphids, fleas and spider mites.

  Basil drives away flies and skeeters.

  Radishes help deter cucumber beetles, squash bugs and the ever present stink bug.

  Another tip, do not smoke or allow smokers in your garden, that’s not good for tomatoes as it can cause Tobacco Mosaic Virus (TMV).

  A hoe kept out by the garden keeps the Mrs. away until its picking time.

   A couple bags of cotton burr compost for the garden were found at the French Greenhouse on Massy Tompkins Rd.  Once the tomato plants are up a bit, the cotton burr compost will be sprinkled and spread around the base of the plants.  Hopefully this will help retain moisture and slow down the nut grass.

  Go plant a six-pack of tomato plants and stick them in the ground, you can thank me later.

  Charlie Farrar can be emailed @ xuscg@comcast.net

February 21st, 2010

  Spring is so close one can smell it.  That must be why all these sneezing fits have occurred.   The neighbor’s Arizona Ash tree is budding out and the other neighbor’s pear tree will be in bloom once it gets a good drink of water as it is full of buds.  Pear trees are so pretty full of white blossoms.

  Spring will officially be here next month just after you turn your clock forward one hour.  Looking forward to the time advance, although Spike cat will not know the difference as he likes to walk around the pillow before daylight so someone will go get his breakfast snack of Whiskas Temptations treats.

  Spring Fever as defined by Ms Merriam-Webster is “a lazy or restless feeling often associated with the onset of spring”.  You can tell its spring when all the male dove start cooing to the nearest female dove.   It is also time for the white perch AKA Crappie to bite.  Actually the Crappie are already biting on Luce Bayou above Lake Houston. 

  Spring runs from March into May down here in Texas and at the end of spring is the beginning of hurricane season. 

  Spring is also the time to do your spring cleaning and, being the head janitor of the house the job has already begun.  The biggest chore at the house is washing the fascia and eves on the house; next biggest is the blinds and windows.  Guess I’ll have to turn the ceiling fans on high to dust.  Don’t care what she says, that’s woman’s work.  About decided when she retires, I’m going back to work. 

  Drove to the fresh water pond in the big city last week to check out a crappie hole found over the web; hope to wet a hook this coming week, but weather forecast says it’s going to be cold so Charlie might not make it.  

  Got a box of Jerusalem artichoke to plant one day this week, hope to have a pint or two of them pickled as Pop and Pearl Farrar grew them out at their place on the Liberty Hill Road.  Pearl would pickle them and they were right tasty, crunchy too.  Of course she would put a pod of red pepper in the jar for a bit of spice, hot but good. 

  We used to take the mattresses out each spring on a pretty day to air out; it was a job momma always had me help doing wrestling those heavy cotton mattresses out to the back yard for a day.  Nowadays you have febreze.

February 7th, 2010

     Back at the house after a three week road trip up through snow covered Virginia and on across the Mason Dixon Line into Pennsylvania.  Stayed with one of our twin sons for a week visiting his family and all.  Even made it into the Amish Country of Bird-In-Hand, PA and Intercourse, PA purchasing several bottles of Amish wine and got my usual jar of pickled beets. 

  Good grief it was cold up there and the wind would cut you in two.  Gave it a week and traveled on down through Washington, DC and Richmond, VA stopping in Wilmington, NC for a few days.  Stayed with a former Coast Guard mate and his wife and we rode around my old haunts of Wrightsville Beach, NC.

  Having left PA before daylight, it was dark traveling through DC, aw shucks as I wanted to see all of the buzzards flying over all that government land.

  Stopped by old sister’s house and she nearly laid an egg when she answered the door, not expecting me to drop in.  Managed to stay on the river with them for a week and gaining nearly three pounds. 

  Then on down to my hometown of Lagrange, Georgia for a few days.  Having been cured of my case of cabin fever, I headed out a bit past three one morning back to the Texas border.  Driving over 3700 miles and listening to three books on audio from Cracker Barrel sure makes the time fly by.

  If you plan to go through Virginia, by all means do the speed limit.  Never seen so many people pulled over by the blue light boys.  Alabama as well. 

  Stopped by the Lagrange Farm Supply store and picked up a bundle of onions to plant.  Told the man I was going to plant the onions in Texas.  He told me the people of Texas do not know anything about onions, and then he asked me where in Texas I was from.  Then he told me his wife was from Baytown, same town we live in.  Small world ain’t it.

  Got the onions planted this morning as well as the potatoes.   Been looking forward to doing that since arriving back home.  Sure feels good to scratch around in the dirt and feels even better to stretch out in my own rack with my own pillow and have that darn cat come wake me each morning.  Back into the routine one more time.

January 12th, 2010

   Already went to a funeral for the New Year, No Mas!  Heck of a way to start the year and it is simply too cold to attend a funeral.  Have noticed an increase of elders in the obit section of the big city paper; is there a connection with this frigid weather?

  Lots of times one sees in the obits a spouse of one who passed a few days or weeks before.  That tells me that old love suffers super grief that overcomes; some rather not go on without their loved one.  True love has its ways.

  Did manage to get in the garden and scratch around enough to get the soil turned over before the cold.  Hopefully the cold will have eliminated whatever cutworms that went undisturbed.  Always while turning the dirt with the shovel, unearth a cutworm, and leave it in two.

  Celebrated one year of retirement last week; sometimes one wonders when they had time to work.  Yet other times in between chores, details, and lunch a book is cracked - it sure makes the day go by.  On book 16 now in a series of over 60 books, wonder sometimes just how many grizzlies and bad guys one can kill.

   Still enjoy fixing supper for the Mrs. on a daily basis.  We are both corn fed and can honestly say we have had more corn on the cob this past year than ever before since learning to microwave the shucked portion.  It is so good, no need to butter, heat and eat.

  Eating fresh/frozen salmon now since a stent was inserted above my gizzard back in the fall.  A nasty piece of fish they are but go well with a very stout onion tartar sauce.  Microwaving the thawed portion of salmon or any other piece of fish is much healthier and easier than frying fish the way they were meant to be cooked.  Health food you know.

  Poached fish is good but much more work than compared to the microwave.     

  Speaking of fish, heard of a fishing hole with loads of crappie not too far away, it is in Houston city limits.

  Ain’t had a fishing license since my fishing podna kicked the bucket several years back. One has to have a salt water license to fish in this hole even if it is fresh water since it is within state boundaries requiring salt water license – this area South of Interstate 10 requires salt a water license.

  Sometimes it is much more economical to go to Sam’s, Costco, or Kroger to get one’s fish.  They sell bait too.

December 6th, 2009

  The bitter cold took its toll on the garden leaving only the weeds which survived and are flourishing.      Took the chain saw to the Confederate Rose and have a dozen small limbs in a bucket of water to root; thinking of planting all of them along the back yard by the fence row.  The other Confederate Rose took a licking from the cold, just hope it survives for another year.

  Me and the Mrs. flew to Charlotte Thanksgiving Day and had dinner with my sister in South Carolina.  Long way to go eat huh…  It was worth it as we had homemade biscuits each morning and one evening had fried fish that brother-in-law had caught (bass).  The Mrs. mentioned she would not mind moving up there but with the price of groceries up there, I think we’ll stay here.

  Managed to read three books while in the Carolina’s, because shopping with the ladies didn’t appeal to me.  The Mrs. has read the series WILDERNESS by David Thompson and they are most interesting if you like fighting grizzlies, injuns and such.  There are over 60 books in the series so it should do me for a while to come yet.  Used books are the best if you can find them.

  Needing to take a break in my reading and venturing out sometimes, to the hardware store is my usual destination to get my fill of local gossip and bull.  With the hardware store closed Friday so they could go deer hunting, I strolled into the barbershop last week and got an ear full of both.  Raymond the barber says some don’t like coming to his shop because they smell like cigarette smoke when they leave.  He got rid of the bench outside by the building as it was the non- smoking section, so there’s no way to avoid the smoke smell.

  Always a deer hunting story in the barbershop and they are usually spiced with tales of adventure and such.  Heard one about these two hunters and the pranks they pulled on one another.  One guy was shooting at a deer under a feeder and shot a hole in the other guy’s feeder.  Another one was this hunter would collect shotgun shells, etc and goes dump them in another guy’s blind.  Nice guys huh.

  Another tale from another place was that these younger hunters would go hunting on the lease and brought some high dollar steaks for supper.  They would season the steaks and take a mallet and pound the daylights out of the meat to where it was real thin.  The man that was telling it had a good laugh at the youngsters pounding on the high dollar steaks.

  Have heard of other hunting stories a while back but better not put them in print even with the guy dead and gone. 

  This may well be the last column for 2009 so Merry Christmas to you and yours and may the new year be an even better one for you.

Adios

November 15th, 2009

  It is going to be a race as to what comes first, the first frost or the making of tomatoes in the garden.  Finally got some blooms on the tomato plants and they will make if given enough time.  If the tomatoes do make, they will eventually end up in some glass jars with my chowchow makings. 

  Me and the Mrs. celebrated our fortieth anniversary recently and drove her new car to Lake Rayburn where we stayed at a bed and breakfast.  While up there, we looked and looked for a place on the water to consider purchasing.  She has told me when she plans to retire and we hope move at that time.  After we rode all over the place, she made the comment, “I don’t know if I want to live this far out from everything.”  So what does that tell you? 

  Anyway, we looked at numerous places on the water and the thought of moving to the lake is getting about as much fan fare as us moving to the Smokey Mountains.  That is not going to happen ‘cause I’ll not move anywhere it snows.  Besides all those deer around the lake would be in my garden.

  Have been assigned the task of cleaning out the garage so the new car can be parked inside.  Not only is the garage full but one of the twins use it as his storage shed too, rent free mind you.  Got two of everything from shovels, rakes to pump and sprayer.  He has a welding machine in there, now that might be fun to play with but I don’t even know how to turn it on yet.  Thinking about getting a rental storage place or having another shed built around back.  Does that make sense to build a place to store junk?

  If I could keep her out of the resale stores on the weekend there would not be as much junk accumulated.  Got more shirts now than I ever had in my life.  Probably get a couple more with Christmas coming around the corner.  Those resale stores are the very reason she does not want to move to the lake.  She has six stores she tries to checkout every other weekend, Sand Dollar, Bluebird, The Guild, Value Village, Houston Area Ministries and one more.  Reckon I should be thankful she does more looking than buying.

October 26th, 2009

   Two weekends in a row me and the Mrs. have ventured into the big city to walk around the Urban Harvest Farmers Market.  It is each Saturday from morning till noon @ Richmond Ave between Kirby and Buffalo Speedway.  One thing for sure, that’s over where the rich folks live.

  Lots of fresh produce, eggs, meats, fish, flowers, herbs, breads and snacks on hand should you so desire; besides, it’s fun to watch the people too.  There was a great guitar player there on our first visit and his case was open for tips.  I put two dollars in the guitar case and he thanked me as he played one of Paul Simon’s numbers.  Then I reached in what was where once I kept my cigarettes and got out what looked like a hundred dollar bill folded.  I had ordered some business cards which look like hundred dollar bills.  I laid the bill so the guitar player could see it and he thanks me again, more so this time; he was as thankful as the Mrs. was PO’d at me for doing it. 

  We got fresh okra, collards, green tomatoes and a good breakfast snack.  With the green tomatoes, the Mrs. suggested I make some chowchow and she would pick the peppers.  That she did this morning and there was not quite a gallon of Tabasco and cayenne pepper pods. 

  The hot peppers are stout enough to take your breath when you get them out of the food processor finely cut up, especially that many peppers.   Got the whole house odorized of vinegar and peppers smell, very pungent.

  Found a Costco store just down the street from the Farmer’s Market and made that trip for the last two weekends as well.  Get your share of walking in one of those too; it’s as big as a Sam’s and a bit nicer in my book.  Not so crowded in the mornings and it helps fill a weekend.

  After leaving a bit poorer from the Costco store, we had its hotdogs with mustard and onion for our brunch with a large cup of Coke.  Not a bad deal, two big hotdogs and drinks for three bucks plus tax.  Sure beats the dickens out of the big city ball parks price of hotdog and drink.  These were Hebrew National franks and they make good hotdogs.  Price them if you can find any. 

  Got up the other morning and found the glove box open in the car and the GPS missing.  Dumb ole me did not lock the doors upon exiting the car.  Live and learn, y’all lock your cars and your house.  Sad situation we have but we can make do with it.  Lock and Load! 

October 13th, 2009

  With October came a little trip cross the mighty Mississip to Georgia and South Carolina.  Attended a community reunion in Georgia and then chauffeuring my aunt and Montana Cuz to old sister’s house in South Carolina.  The Mrs. elected not to make this trip so I had a chance to do some real serious thinking on the long lonesome highway there and back, but missed my backseat driver.

  Almost two weeks and two thousand miles driven with my best MPG being 35.2 and that is good.  Cheapest gas was in South Carolina @ 2.08 per gallon.  Louisiana had the most police on the highway followed by Georgia.  The sugar cane in Louisiana is looking good too.

  With the women shopping, my brother-in-law rode me around the backwaters where they live and look at some of the high dollar homes.  He made a sudden stop, backed up and said look there.  There were a dozen buzzards perched on the roof of a nice home.  Two houses were buzzard perches and their mess could be seen on the first house.  Evidently the people have the house as a second home or they are on a trip too.   

  Brought back some country ham (salt cured), ‘cause it makes biscuits taste better.  Have to go easy with that stuff; some call it “trip to the hospital food”.  Montana cuz brought 3 one pound bags of some of the best jerky ever gnawed on.  Aunt gave me a quilt she made at the senior center as well as giving one to the cuz and to old sister.  Lucked out on that trip.

  Very few of the trees are turning color for this time of year, give it another month or so and it should be a site to see.   The kudzu is still green and will be until the first frost.  It is amazing how much that stuff has taken over.  Made a visit to the house where I grew up and grunted with displeasure.  The owners have painted the house blue of all colors.  I don’t do blue houses, blue trousers, blue shirt or blue suede shoes, well maybe, but not a house and especially that house.  They even had a kudzu vine creeping across the flat spot up from the side of the house. 

  Now the Mrs. is headed to Pennsylvania for a week with the grandchildren and will leave me with those darn cats.  That one ole tom cat jumps on the bed around 5:30 each morning.  He is trying to tell me to get up, do my thing and feed him.  Gonna be a long lonesome week.

September 20th, 2009

   Me and the Mrs. took a little R & R and a four day weekend down the coast to Port Aransas.  We stayed on Mustang Island and spent a couple of days in Rockport, Texas attending the Hummingbird Festival. 

  A fun trip indeed visiting various homes watching the hummers at people’s numerous feeding stations.  More fun than that was the “Last Chance Forever” live birds of prey show that is dedicated to the rehab of sick, injured and orphaned birds of prey.  Hawks, Owls, an Eagle, a Buzzard and a Falcon were on display Friday night and Saturday morning.

  The birds were allowed to fly in the school auditorium Friday evening and awesome cannot describe this event.  Additionally, vendors had their bird wares available from T-Shirts, feeders, blown glass hummer ornaments, high dollar binoculars and scopes were available for purchase.  The Mrs. noticed and purchased a 72 ounce sugar water feeder that hopefully will last more than one day without having to be refilled.

  They had rain down in that part of the country a week or so ago and the skeets were out in volume.  Finally found a place that has the skeets as bad as we do in the back yard.  They should name it the Skeeter Festival because they outnumbered the hummers 10 to 1.

  This ole Georgia Boy never has been a big fan of chowing down on fish and bait.  Back in the Coast Guard in Boston on Fridays they served seafood and lobsters in abundance, back then related to a Catholic requirement of no meat on Fridays.  Of course, I never had eaten the big crayfish much less any other seafood, giving mine away and opting for a bologna sandwich.

  Time changes all or most anyway.  Had my first taste of Mahi-mahi fish and found out just how good tis.  Ate it five times and consider the grilled much better than the fried.  Speaking of fried fish, the restaurants down there do not serve catfish or at least the six eating places we visited.  The Mrs. put two of her shrimp on my plate reciprocating for a piece of the fish yours truly gave her.  Later that evening, the shrimp were still swimming and I swear they were cooked in coon oil.

  The Mrs. agreed we might move to that part of the country and it sure beats the fire out of the Smokey Mountains that she has wanted.   We spent the better part of a day riding around Mustang Island, Rockport, and Fulton looking at homes for sale getting a sampling of the area.  The house she wanted was $399K and mine was over a Mil so we have to wait on her to reach retirement age and maybe our ship will come in so we can buy down there.

  We are back at the poor house now and it do feel good, peas and cornbread for supper, back to basics.

September 6th, 2009

  Labor Day weekend, tis.  This time last year we were in preparations for hurricane Ike to come to town.  It also reminds me of the blackberry wine which was started after we lost power.  The wine has been working the entire year now and it’s still working; might end up knocking your socks off.

  The blackberry patch is No Mas (that’s Spanish for No More) as it has been cut to the ground being nearly dried up.    That is good soil where the blackberry patch was, been thinking of getting some thornless blackberries or maybe something else we can eat to plant in its place.  Should be a rule, nothing is planted that you cannot eat.  Only have five things in and around the yard besides grass (weeds) that you cannot eat.  A Confederate Rose, a Seven Sisters Rose, a Tuberose (has the fragrance of the Gods), a Red Apple Ice plant and a palm type plant that is leftover from my father-in-law’s funeral, not sure what it is so it is called Don McAninch. 

  The two rain containers under the back roof and porch contained a bit of water but not enough to amount to anything.  It is used mostly to sustain the Tuberose lately. 

  Out on Liberty Hill Road in my hometown of LaGrange, Georgia at the little house on the hill were three large washtubs that gathered water as it came off the side of the tool shed.  The water was used to wash the clothes and all.  Out from the edge of the tool shed past the water tubs was the artichoke patch.   A Jerusalem artichoke is one that you dig and not like the globe shaped artichoke one sees in the stores nowadays.  The roots are knobby and Ma Pearl used to make pickles known for their sweet, nutty crispness in turmeric spiced pickles.  A South of the Mason Dixon line recipe with onion and red pepper.   Makes me wonder how the artichoke would do in the old blackberry patch.  If the plant is ordered now, it will not be shipped until spring.  Time will tell as they are ordered.

  Memories of the wash day chore out in the country come back then - laborious as all get out with the ringer type washer.  It was fun to put the water soaked clothes up and into the ringer only it was not so much fun when my hand went up into it.  I squealed like a cut hog and my grandma came running and set me free.  No longer did I think it was so much fun ‘cause that hurt. No Mas.

Another Oldie from Charlie - 1996 - maybe he ran out of stuff to talk about?????

  My friend Ruby gave me some writings from her aunt from way back a long time ago...  She was getting some research done on her family history.  I found it very interesting and the woman writes like she talks.  Sound familiar?

  Lemme share it with you, here tis:

The lady’s name is Hallie so get used to it.  Seems like Hallie was the 13th child born in the family.  Time was 1893 and her mother was 45 when she was born.  She writes of being raised on a big farm, they raised everything - cotton, corn, sugar cane, peanuts, melons, and peas. 

She mentioned the system called the free range for all animals, only fencing was around the house.  The families had markings which they used to cut on the hog ears.  Each fall the men folk would go into the woods and kill wagon loads of hogs and then the work began - from boiling water to smoking the meats. Cracklins are mentioned as well the lean pork meat that was ground and after salt, pepper and sage was worked into the meat, it was fried and packed down in large jars of grease (fat) to be removed and eaten as needed.  She said the jars would be half-full of grease and the fried sausage would be added and the jars placed on a long shelf with the bottom end up so the grease would have a tight seal. 

  They had their own surp mill where people brought their sugar cane to be extracted and to be cooked down to surp.  Nobody had any money so they just gave them more surp which they stored in sixty gallon wooden barrels and sold for 25 cents a gallon. (They must have done some ‘sho nuff soppin back then. You ever did that or do you know what I’m talking about?).

  Hallie had written something’s that reminds me of Heloise.  She has a recipe for Lye soap, how to make tallow which I will share if you want to come get it.

  Hallie says to cut your wood on the decrease of the moon, it will burn better.

  Cedar Bough Tea - for chicken mites.  Brake (yea, brake) a lot of Cedar Boughs off and put in wash pot of cold water. Boil for one hour.  Take limbs out and put tea in wash tub to cool.  Dip chickens in it.  Separate feathers so you can get the tea down to the skin and all feathers.  Hallie adds that she closes her chicken house door the night before.

  For Worms - a teaspoon full of sugar and put two drops of turpentine on top.  Give it every other day until you have three doses.

  Poke Salad - gather Poke Salad while young; put it on to cook in cold water after you wash it.  Boil for a while, then take it out of water and put in a skillet of hot water with grease and salt.  Cook it real tender...then taste it to see if it is salty enough.  This is my way of cooking most everything...........................she said.

  Hallie goes on to tell ya how to do fig preserves, blackberry cobbler, serial cloth for Bronchitis, how to dry seeds, when to plant, Sassafras Tea, tobacco on insect bites, salts for infection, beaten egg whites for sprains, remove the head of a risin, (yuck....  been there, done that), setting your hens, hog killing, cutting wood, watermelons, sweet potatoes, peaches, tea cakes.

  Hallie wrote at one point, “I am 83, and wrote this May 1976, I am blind in one eye and can’t see out of the other.”

  Red-Eye Gravy - I’ll stop here and add that it ain’t anything but ham grease and coffee or water.  If I rode the range all day or walked behind a mule all day-everday, I could work it off.

 August 27th, 2009 - An Oldie from 1988

  Sometimes I think if it was not for bad luck, I would not have any luck.  Last night, we had the privilege of having one of the twins over for a visit. I asked if he wanted to eat dinner with us.  He said he would since it smelt so good cooking.  I had baked chicken breast, mustard and turnip greens, baked cubed potatoes, butter fried zucuinni squash -cut length wise, cornbread and chunk white fresh onion. 

  I opened the refrigerator door and about that time a full pint jar of pepper sauce fell from the top door and landed smack dab on my big right toe.  Talk about a center punch. No, the glass jar did not shatter or break, rather the ring lid made a half moon on my toe.  Blood shot out of the base of my toe nail from the hard hitting pressure.  Yes, I was barefooted. 

  Gee, that hurt like the dickens.  I wanted to run, holler and squall.  All I could do was hold on to the counter and shudder.  That toe throbbed all night. 

  Mrs. Farrar woke up and greeted me this morning with a “What in the world are you doing?” 

  I was in the bathroom with my 14v Makita drill.  I got the smallest drill bit I could find and bore a hole at the base of my toe nail to relieve the pressure.  I stuck a pin in the hole causing it oozed.  That is the only way I know to relieve the pressure is by boring a hole in the nail. 

  I have had to do this before to fingernails and toenails.  I have had blood come flying out before.

  It is not easy getting a hole in a toe or finger nail.  First of all, the toe or finger is sore from all the pressure from the banging.  The end of my big toe has a purple color to it. 

  Having busted my thumb with a hammer before, I would take a needle and scratch back and forth on the nail base to open it up.  Once you get down close to the quick, it sure does get sensitive but once the dark spot is opened up and drained of the blood, it feels better.  It will feel even better when it quits hurting.

  I guess I will lose that toe nail.  That ain’t going to be fun either.  Ain’t nothing worse than putting on socks and the sock snags that sore nail while you are pulling on the sock.

  Back to hobbling. 

  Back when I was a chap, I rode a bicycle every day.  I was barefooted one time going in a circle and my toes were hanging over the pedal on the down stroke.  That hurts too when the toes hit pavement.  That ain’t bad luck, that’s just plain stupid. 

  So much for pain and agony.

  What did the fish say when it ran into a brick wall?....dam  

August 23rd, 2009

   Fall is in the air, you might not be able to tell it but it will be here this time next month.  The big city paper has already published their edition of FALL BAZAARS & FESTIVALS.   Bazaars are fun things to do should you have the desire to get out of the recliner and stay on your feet.

  It is time to plant your fall crop if you are a gardener.  The garden of weedin already has tomatoes in the ground and hopefully there will at least be some nice green tomatoes before first frost.  Not my idea of fun back there picking tomatoes with the wind whooping and the temperature is in the thirty’s and forty’s.

  It is hummingbird migration time, now thru September.  We have about six hummers buzzing around out front in and around the sugar water feeders.  Only have five feeders out now although in the past there have been over a dozen scattered around the house.  Those feeders need to be washed out once a week and in the peak time of the season; we have put out a gallon a day of the sugar water mixture (4 to 1).

  Tried to make a bet with the Mrs. this morning saying I would catch a hummingbird this year.  She would not bet as she knows one of the little things will fly in the garage and ain’t got enough sense to fly down a foot or so and go back out the garage door.  They will continually fly upwards bumping into the ceiling until they get so tired they can no longer fly.  That is where I come in; I pick up the little thing and take it out the garage and release or set it in the tree to rest.  The garage door is now kept down during hummer migration time.

  Caught a hummingbird and showed it to the neighbor kids last year and they wanted to know how I caught it; told them I am quick.  Put a couple feeders out with sugar water, it does not have to be colored red.  They are fun to watch and they will not harm you as their long beak is as flexible as a straw.  

August 9th, 2009

  Having spent over 30 years in the banking and finance business, my start in the finance company came soon after being discharged from the Coast Guard in Wilmington, North Carolina.  The position was titled Customer Service Representative AKA collector, not a bad job but dealt entirely with past due accounts and sometimes rough people.

  That was back in the corn liquor days as they still had liquor stills in that part of the country.  The fellow who trained me was from Ash, NC and he went to collect from this one person going into his garage.  Next thing he knew, he was surrounded by a bunch of men and they got into a shoving match. 

  That same customer was having his power cut off for lack of payment.  The customer held the power company man with a gun making him go back up the pole and cut the guy’s power back on.  Nice people huh. 

  After getting hired by a bank to assist in the collection of its loans, I was making an outside call to a customer’s residence only to find nobody home.  Arriving back at the bank at the day’s end and reporting to the respective loan officer of my attempts to collect, he informed me that this way past due customer had come into the bank.  The loan officer had loaned him more money, however the father-in-law co-signed the note.  That did not make much sense to me, but loan officers are known to do some really squirrelly things. 

  Had two lenders quit one time because the holding company had sent a big time lender to the bank who had been promoted over the two that quit.  Reckon it hurt their feelings.  Did not hurt my feelings, it gave me more job security because this hot shot was loose as a goose with his lending.  Apparently he did not know the meaning of No!

  Had another big time lender come in from Dallas and a big shot he was.  He even had to find a place to send his shoes to be shined.  I thought good grief!  Rather funny, this hot shot loved to frequent topless bars and soon after his arrival in town he made the Houston circuit of a few bars spreading word of how big a banker he was.  Needless to say, the next day a stripper showed up in the bank, fully clothed of course, and was going to hit him up for the loan per his evening before.  Thought the hot shot was going to crawl under his desk.  It was so funny; he closed the door to his office and told the assistant that he would be in conference for the rest of the day. 

  Had one lender with a drug problem and it too was comical for a while; but not so funny when I inherited his portfolio as the loans had to be collected.  I do believe the man would have loaned Jessie James money.

  Of all those college boys, we had one who simply could not compose a letter.  He had his secretary write all of them and to think they got the big bucks. 

August 2d, 2009

  I have always heard if you want a quick summer, take out a 90 day loan.  Time flies don’t it?

  Believe it or not, my Tabasco pepper bush has re-sprouted about 10 inches from where the main bush was before it got kilt by the frost.  I had hoped it would come back and it did.

  I have always been told it does one good to have hope.  Some hope, some pray, some wish.  Depends on what you want in and out of life, I reckon that makes one do what they do.  What do you do?

  Anyhow, hopefully, I will get enough peppers to put up some pepper sauce this year.  Since green tomatoes are so hard to come by,  I’ve planted six  plants of which five are doing fine, maybe there will be enough to make some chow-chow.

  While on vacation,  I spent a lot of time at Day Lake.  Somebody has dropped off a big male lab dog or it is lost up there.  He is a pretty dog, smart too. A bit on the poor side though.

  When Four dog first saw the lab,  he actually attacked or attacked at it.  The lab probably could have bit Four nearly in two if he wanted.  The lab backed away and around from Four.  I scolded Four for being a fool.  I gave the lab Four dog’s leftover food and some more.  Poor thing,  probably ain’t ate in a few days.

  The next morning, I had left over T-bone, collards, onion, and loaf bread for breakfast.  I fixed Four dog a bit on a plate with a good helping of collards.  He ate his bits of meat and bread and gnawed the bone to the point of being dangerous if one stepped on it.

  He did not touch the collards.  I told him I gave him the best part of the breakfast and he shunned it.   I told him if he didn’t eat it I was going to give it to that old black dog.  He looked at me with a cocked head.  I sweetly called in a higher than usual tone to the O BLACK DOG COME GET FOUR DOGS BREAKUS - CHUM ON NOW, CHUM GET IT.

  It didn’t take long but my acting like I was going to give the plate away, Four dog ate the collards.  I laughed at that dog, he sure is spoilt, greedy too. 

   This was writ over 13 year ago and still miss ole Four.

July 21st, 2009

  Finished reading an eBook this weekend, a first for me and enjoyed it so much, I ordered another eBook to download. 

  An eBook is read over the computer once downloaded for a nominal fee.  The program to read the eBook was free so I am good to go.  The particular book just finished was LONG HORN II by Dusty Rhodes.  AMAZON.COM has the book for $35.95 + S & H and it is a paperback edition, used at that.

  The eBook was purchased for $5.50 with the only drawback being it must be read over this computer and one cannot go lie down to read and catch a snooze.  It cannot be copied, printed, transferred or forwarded.  Like the Vegas theme, “What you read here, stays here”.

  Our oldest boy by 9 minutes and his clan are down from Pennsylvania.  They head back up and across the Mason Dixon Line tomorrow, none too soon for the cats.  Must admit the boy has become a good cook over the years and gladly turned the cooking over to him while he was home.  Reckon we’ll be eating leftovers for a week after they leave.

   Grandkids sure are nice and fun loving to have.  Some good, some bad and folks say you reap what you sow.  The reason kids today are such picky eater is because the parents ask them if they want some of this, that and the other to eat.  Prepare the kids a plate and expect them to eat.  If they do not, do not reward them with cookies and ice cream.  GOOD GRIEF!!!

  That is old school maybe but I am sure there are some of you who will agree with me.  Took the granddaughters (7 & 12) to Wal-Mart the other morning@ 0600; advised them to stick close to me because somebody might get them and they be making tamales for the rest of their lives.  Do not have to worry about the girls running around whooping and hollering like some you see in the stores.  Reckon you could say that is why little brother got left behind because I too would whoop and holler too if I had to tag along with two girls in the girl’s britches department.

  These kids do not know how good they have it.  All they did while in Texas sure beats sitting outside in a swing shelling beans and peas, shucking corn and putting stuff up, canning and all.  That may be productive and it sure beats watching SQUARE BOB WET PANTS or the Nick channel.  Guess that is why they are at their great aunt’s house swimming in the concrete pond and not in the creek outback.

July 5th, 2009

  While walking to the truck this morning, a bird took flight just ahead of me.  At first it looked like an owl and it landed on the other side of the truck, not far off.  I walked over there and the bird took another short, flight landing on some concrete. 

  This time I walked directly up to the bird or as close as I thought I should get and observed the bird colors and feathers, thinking I should know what sort of bird it is.

  Sure wish I had my camera too.

  Sure as shooting, Google described the bird and has a picture of one exactly like it.  It was a Whippoorwill, no doubt.

  Used to hear them down in the river bottom of the Chattahoochee River way back when, and always when it was dark.

  There is some folklore that goes with the Whippoorwill.  An unmarried woman would listen for the sound of the Whippoorwill.  One call means she’ll not get married for a year.  Three calls mean she will be destined to be a spinster.  Two calls means impending matrimony.

  Google goes on to say that repetitious calls were often considered an omen of death to the Omaha Indians.  The Ute Indians believed that the Whippoorwill was the god of the night and could magically change a frog into the moon.

  Iroquois believed that the lady slipper was the Whippoorwill’s shoe.

  The bird didn’t make any sound when I was around so reckon that means it didn’t want to be bothered.

  It made my day to say the least, it is not everyday that one sees a Whippoorwill much less know what one is.  Have you ever heard the call of a Whippoorwill?

  The twin son from Pennsylvania and his clan have been down all week; they went back this afternoon with web feet.

  He and I put up 15 pints of chowchow early one morning and got in the dog house with Big Momma.  She said we started too early and should have waited a bit.

  With the two granddaughters, I always take them to Wal-Mart one morning at six o’clock; they love it.   This trip we took the other granddaughter with us.  Ages 12, 10 & 5.

  Do believe they can smell the toy section of the store because that was their direction. 

  Then next thing I know they are looking at bras.  Nearly dropped my teeth when the 10 year old got one.

  I made a comment about why she was buying a sling shot so when we got home, she told on me. 

 June 22d, 2009

  Spent a little time behind bars recently as me and the Mrs. took a boat ride to the island of Alcatraz just off San Francisco.  A worthwhile endeavor indeed not to mention all the stories behind the self guided tour.

  The whole place has deteriorated very much but could still house a few prisoners.  The Box was something to see as was the visitation area.  An interesting sign during the tour read, “Break the rules and you go to prison, break prison rules and you go to Alcatraz”.  Lots of bad people spent time there and heard some interesting facts about the Birdman of Alcatraz.   He never had birds while he was at Alcatraz (it was against the rules) but had birds when he was at Leavenworth.

  There ain’t nothing cheap in San Francisco.  Parking at the hotel was forty bucks a night even if you stayed there.  We did not rent a car, but fully used the public transportation system.  The cable car was…well, I will not wait in line that long again to ride the thing.  It was packed like sardines on the inside and we managed to have inside seats.  But if you sat, people standing faced us or you get their rears in your face and you couldn’t see the city.  No Mas.

 The street cars (F Line) with overhead wires were the best mode of transportation.  We got on one the first day there just to get our bearings.  We rode it from one end to the other and back near our hotel.  That in itself was a tour of the city and a sight to see for a buck fifty each.  The ticket stub can be used again within four hours.

  Night lights mean bright colorful lights along Fisherman’s Wharf.  Made it to Chinatown one evening riding on the street car in San Francisco.  Have not been in that hilly of an area since I went back to Georgia.  Told one fellow from there that it is a wonder they don’t have one leg longer than the other with those hills.

  It was cold in San Francisco most of the time and we took jackets having been forewarned.  Lots of stores sell sweats and $19.99 lite weight jackets with San Francisco embroidered or something on the front.  Nice jacket and one would make you smile when all you brought were pull over short sleeve shirts.

  Out from the end of the building area was a swim club and folks were actually swimming in that frigid water.  Air temp was good jacket weather and water temp in the high fifties.  My Wranglers felt good too, so you can imagine the water.  Some had on wet suits while others had simple bathing suits.  You can see everything in California; I can believe that after this trip.

  Took one tour bus trip across the Golden Gate Bridge to Muir Woods, the place where the large trees grow and enjoyed it a whole bunch.  An interesting fact at the bridge is that it is painted every year.  Six months to do one side and six the other, then they starts over again – interstate orange.

  Glad to be back home even with this sweltering heat.

June 2d, 2009

  Been playing gardener every morning; pinching suckers off the tomato plants, pinching the leaf footed bugs off the tomato and keeping an eye out for stink bugs.  They will certainly mess up a pretty tomato or what have you.    Have not seen the first snake this year so knock wood. 

  Poke salad is coming along real good if you eat the poke weed.  Most folks don’t eat it much, less know what it is.  The leaves eaten after first boil will cleanse your colon they say.  The berries will kill mammals so take heed; stain a good t-shirt too.  I just grow it as a conversation piece having brought the seeds back from Georgia twenty year ago.

    The month of May marked the fifteenth year of the TWO CENTS WORTH articles so for what it is worth I hope you have smiled a time or two.  June marks the sixth month of retirement for yours truly and I have gotten around to doing the senior citizen thing with the community center.  No sewing classes, cards or such, but did manage to get to eat two times at different places.  So far-so good.  We ride on air conditioned buses and all of the buses are driven by women.  Not complaining mind you, just wanted to bring it out. 

  Sat at the dinner table today with a lady who reminded me of my aunt.  No eating place can ever please her.  Coffee is not hot enough and she would send it back to the kitchen.  They probably then nuked it to boiling for her.  She taught me how to make river coffee and the water was from the Chattahoochee.  Boil water; pour in the ground, that’s river coffee.  Same way the cowboys did it.

  Anyway, the diner at the dinner table sent food back because it was too salty and made a comment about me getting my greens put in a bowl and hers on her plate were all runny.  Then there was something about me getting more mashed potatoes than she did.  My aunt would put oodles of salt on her food, more than once sometimes.  If she was eating fish, it’s a sight, the amount of salt that woman would use.  Aunt never finished what was on her plate; she would take a bite of something and say it is not fitting to eat and that’s it. 

  My father-in-law rolled in his urn recently, because I bought a foreign car.  He was a Chevrolet man from the word go.  That is all he bought and sort of got me in the same habit.  Of course he got his right; his father-in-law owned a car dealership.

  When I met his daughter, my mode of transportation was a VW beetle and I listened to him back then about foreign made vehicles and something about my driving and speeding.   But he did not have much room to talk and neither does his daughter who takes after him. 

  “Look out, woman driver”

May 19th, 2009

   Had company last week, my ole country sister came to town.  She stays in the deep woods of South Carolina on the Catawba River and she drips country; from the way she talks to her eating habits. 

  We attended the Strawberry Festival in Pasadena with the real feel temperature hovering around a hundred.  Tried my best to get her to ride in the helicopter but she would have nothing to do with it.  Said, “I ain’t getting in no helicopter!”  So me and the granddaughter got tickets and took a quick up and around the fairgrounds ride.  Quickest twenty bucks I ever spent but it was worth it to see the little girl smile as we took off.  This was her first time to ride in a chopper, my second and this one was jet turbine.  I asked the fellow taking up tickets how much one of those helicopters cost, he quoted $1.2 million.

  Ole sister had her first beef brisket at the Catholic Church Bazaar Sunday.  Said it was good and cleaned her plate…as usual.  She was much surprised that beer was sold at the event but I told her it was to wash down the barbeque for the auction buyers.

  She cracks me up, at the dinner table; we have grinders for salt and pepper - remove the top, turn upside down and grind out the salt.  She was sitting there twisting the dickens out of the salt and nothing would come out.  She did not take the cover off and when she did, it was full of salt.

  Took her to our favorite Mexican restaurant and suggested she get a Summer Special.  When they brought it before her, she looked at me and said, “How do I eat it.”  There was fresh guacamole, a bean chalupa, a beef taco and chili con queso tostada.  She managed to get through the meal and said it was very good.  Lots different than the Taco Bell they have down in Columbia, SC.

  Quick witted she is, I made a comment about something saying, momma only raised one fool and she cut in and said, yea, he is in Texas.

  She worked at the bleachery for years, later going to work with Mack Trucks.  She had me arm wrestle her one time and she beat my socks off.  She  used air tools to put the brakes on those big units and was strong from doing so. 

  She worked on the line and said one of her girlfriends had placed a rubber snake up under a truck where she would be putting on brakes.  Said that truck came down the line and she got down doing the brakes and seeing that snake, came up from there screaming and hollering.  All her workers around were laughing at her hysterics.

  When it comes to sisters, I got the best.

May5th, 2009

  Finally broke down and cranked up the AC for the year and might get to shut it down come November when it cools.  It sure has been nice these last three weeks with the windows and back door open.  Always had a good breeze and the new screens helped immensely.  No mas.

  Went to a funeral last week of a friend and former Rotarian, first time I wore pressed slacks and starched shirt since retirement in January.  Told the Mrs. with all the humidity in the house, it has made my slacks shrink a bit; sounded good anyway.

   The granddaughter (1^st grade) spent the night with us and she almost got her Granny in trouble.  Seems as though the two of them walk down the creek to check it out.  They came back with mud up past their ankles, Granny had mud up her legs and a big spot on her rear where she slipped and fell.  She giggled and said, “We got stuck in the muck.”

  Had them to go around on the side of the house and wash that mud off before tracking all that mud  on my clean floors.

  We went back there this morning but stayed on the grass and looked for the shoe that Granny threw up on the bank.  The granddaughter found the shoe upside down with about an inch of muck on the sole lying upside down like a pile of mud.  Told the Mrs. she is lucky she is not sore today.  At least the neighbors across the creek got a good laugh out of watching them go up the bank.

  Been there, done that.  I got stuck in the garden one morning and backwards I went and the ground was sopping wet.  Had to go back later and get my shoe out of the hole but I didn’t tell on myself.  Until now.

  Showed the granddaughter how to pinch suckers off a tomato plant and she did ok until she came across an onion and wanted to pull it up.  I said ok and next thing I know she ‘bout pulled up all of the onions and was going for the green tomatoes next.  Bet she would be good in a pea patch…for about five minutes.

April 22d, 2009

    The eagle screams this week.  In case you do not know what that is, it is payday for government service.  That is what it was called aboard ship in the Coast Guard and they paid us in cash.  Generally the supply officer and a gunner’s mate, both armed with .45’s, made the trip to the bank to pick up the ship’s payroll.

  Those once a month paydays are back now that yours truly is drawing social security.  While working in the banking industry for years, we were paid on the 15^th and 30^th of each month.  Never received an actual paycheck, everything was direct deposit, still is.  During my last year, the bank changed our paydays to every other Thursday and that was a nice treat.  Sometimes before on those long weekends before payday, you would have to wait for payday to do something and to buy groceries.

  One thing about the social security, and you have probably heard about it before, I’ll tell you flat out if you expect to live just on social security alone when you retire, you best move on into the poor house.  You might think you are there now but you are in for a big surprise.  Ma said if you think we are poor this week, wait until next week.

  What I draw from the government is just enough to pay required insurance on the old truck and old car, the old house plus all the various and assorted taxes one must pay to live in the great state of Texas.  Not to mention the light bill, water bill, phone bill, cable bill, Dr bill, drug bill, and incidental bill, and still out of your check is the income tax Uncle Sam charges you to pay you.  Ain’t nothing wrong with cornbread and peas but some good fried streak-o-lean is good every now and then.

  Enough of the poor mouth but fortunately for me, I married a woman younger than me and she is still working.  She has a ways to go before she retires and continues to work to this day.  As my old buddy would say, you cut a fat hog on that one.

  Uh-O, that almost got me in trouble, I had to explain what that saying meant.

April 6th, 2009

   Lost one of my buddies the other day, this one was an old paratrooper from WWII and his picture has hung on my office wall for years.  It was a photo of him with John Wayne.  Had another picture below it of John Wayne and David Jansen which was photographed at Fort Benning during the filming of THE GREEN BERETS back in 1968.

  Bob Fischer was my neighbor during my growing up days back in Georgia and an interesting man indeed.  Being the military liaison for the State of Georgia, he had diplomatic status at the bases in Georgia.  He enjoyed rubbing elbows while flying around with the General in his helicopter in those days. 

  He was a boxer and coached boxing at the Dixie Community Center.  Having fought Golden Glove in Alabama, he knew how to box.  He was a former Scout Master for one of the Boy Scouts Troops, having made a trip with his troop to the scout camp in Philmont, New Mexico.   A big time Shriner, he loved to participate in parades around the state with his convertible having a large time enjoying life. 

  Talking about the war one time, he called me Bub.  He said, “Bub, I’ve seen it all.” talking about the Germans and the mutilation that went on in Auschwitz.

  Back as a chap, I was at their house next door down the hill; Bob went into his attic and came back with a Nazi flag to show us kids.

     Guess you could say he has made his last jump in life, RIP old friend.

  Old friends like that are hard to come by; it takes a life time to create something that special.  Problem is, at my age, good friends like Bob are getting fewer and farther between.  

   Had lunches recently with some old banker friends.  Interesting to be around people like that; find out what is going on in the area, people, events, happenings, this and that.  Past dues are still past due.  What areas are hot in value and what is this, that and the other going to be?

  At least the working banker picked up the tab.

March 23rd, 2009

  Sometimes my ole cuz up Montana way sends items of interest about that part of the world.  The latest was a newspaper article out of the BILLINGS GAZETTE regarding the use of birds of prey to rid starlings from one of the refineries.

  As an admirer of birds, this article struck my fancy.

  A refinery in Billings hired a company out of California which uses trained owls, hawks and falcons to rid the massive number of starlings. 

  In 19 days, the starlings were reduced from about 50,000 to about 50 using 12 different birds of prey.

  Don’t go getting all huffy about that as the company does not want to hurt the birds, but simply gives them a fright to go someplace else.

  They let the birds of prey out in the afternoon and evening to scare away the unwanted birds.

  The article had some interesting facts that you may be interested in:

  A hawk’s eyesight is eight times better than a human’s, allowing it to see a rabbit up a mile away.

  A European eagle owl can see a hundred times more better than a person and is able to spot a mouse by starlight a football field away…yes more better.

  Owl’s claws can exert a thousand pounds per inch compared to a human’s ninety pounds per inch.

  An owl’s hearing is so good; it can detect a rat 2 feet under the snow or grass.

  They say the birds will stay away until they go back south in the fall.

  Sort of like me this past weekend with the Mrs. and grandyoungan looking at a potential fishing hole.

  We went up to Liberty County to the Trinity River Wildlife Refuge to check out a fishing spot.  The spot off the pier was so-so.  I walked down the trail to another pond on the other side and down a bit while the girls went exploring the butterfly trail.

  On down a ways this one little pond looked just right and down there I went.  Water on both sides and possibly some fish in the one on the left.  Eye balling the water and banks I gandered upon a rather large gator as it was eyeing balling me big time.  

  Like those birds leaving the refinery, you can have this place!

March 9th, 2009

  Hey, the temps have already hit the 80’s, tomatoes and peppers are in the ground, NASCAR has started and finally received the first social security check.  That is hard to beat. 

  Old cuz up in Montana said the snow is still coming down.  By the time my tomatoes run out, old cuz will be planting and eating tomato sandwiches in August.  Told old cuz they only have two seasons, winter and the Fourth of July.

  Being retired from the bank and finance business, one has many tales of events, adventures and OMG’s.

  The very bad past dues or way past dues however you want to call them, the branch manager would go with me, or I would go with him to see the customer.  This customer lived in a mobile home not far off the beach and it was a very sandy area indeed.

  The customer let us in the trailer and the boss did the talking.  He got to be real pushy in trying to collect monies due.  About that time, this ole customer come out and said, “By God, I’ll show you what you can do.”

  You know if you explain to somebody in plain English what can happen in the collection of a debt from court to writs of sequestration, the customers get very offensive.

  The weapon was a .30 .30 lever action, I knew because I’ve seen lots of Westerns.  About that time I’m nearest the door heading out and the boss gets in front of me at the door and started to get mouthy again.  I told him “let’s get out of here”. 

  Ain’t no sense getting in that hairy of a situation.  I am not that brave, that bullet would have gone through him, me and the trailer house.

  One of my buddies was out in the country collecting and went to the barn where the customer was with several of his cronies.  Long story short, they surrounded my buddy and gave him a few shoves.  He came out of the situation ill as a hornet and told the district supervisor, who called the customer and read the riot act to him over the phone.  People are real brave and brazen while on the phone.  Face to face confrontations are very much different.

  Glad to be out of that business.  Always believed one can get more from honey than vinegar. 

  One fellow from my hometown in Georgia got shot and killed in Atlanta while chasing.  Chasing is the slang for out collecting.  He walked up on the porch and got shot through the screen door.

  Another man from here was collecting over near the Louisiana border and got shot by the debtor.

  If I ever do another book, I have thought of calling it DIALING FOR DOLLARS.

 February 23rd, 2009

  Sure is nice beginning the third month of retirement and not having to dress up each day and make sure my brogans are shined up.  Actually I wore Florsheim shoes most of my banking career, but ended up wearing some SAS uglies.

  It’s a sight over the years how some executives dress.  Have seen them with baby slobber on their shoulder to shoes that looked like they had been out milking before they came to work.  Some have no clue as to what a shoe brush does with shoe tops covered in dust.

 SAS shoes are ugly as sin but are as comfortable as some of the men’s exotic shoes are tacky.  Got one buddy who wears nothing but khaki pants.  I asked him once if he had any other colors and he said no.

  One of my former bosses used to wear hundred dollar ties every day and silk, I suppose.  Have seen the high dollar clothing store van pull up, and the driver walks in the bank with five suits on hangers over his shoulder taking them to the big boss’s office.

  With all the free time, one has time to read the New York Times online and read with interest about an article last week about Saks Fifth Avenue.  Saks is now stocking off the rack suits for $7000.00.  Can you imagine?  That is to go with their $1395 sunglasses, slacks for $1195 and jeans for $795.  All one needs with those threads are a pair of tacky exotic gator shoes.  Is that what they call, “dressed to the nines”?

  Have seen people come to work without their belt or with different shoes, buttons buttoned in the wrong hole, and the list goes on.  Some even come to work in their house shoes and forgot to put on their dress shoes.  That’s as funny as wearing two different colored shoes.  One even had their pullover shirt on inside out.

  No plans to wear any of the many long sleeve white shirts in the closet.  One good thing about them, they will come in handy and that is repelling heat and the ‘skeet’s when working outside and in the garden.

  The Mrs. is now into resale stores, especially Blue Bird Circle resale shop in the big city.  She got PO’d yesterday when she came home with the granddaughter and showed me one of two casual shirts she bought me.  I said one of them looks like it has marijuana leaves all over and I ain’t wearing it.  I had to Google marijuana to see how many leaves it has and she was correct…again.

February 10th, 2009

  It amazes me how this Madoff fellow got away absconding millions and millions of dollars from people who thought they were getting richer.  This is one time I am glad we are not wealthy. 

  On top of that, Madoff has been walking freely about.  It is a wonder somebody hasn’t jerked a knot in his tail for what he did, being free like he is.  Do you think rich people do that?

  It would be interesting to see a list of who lost and how much.  It would be like playing poker, read’ em and weep.

  The government was asleep at the wheel on this one, specifically the Securities and Exchange Commission.  Having spent 38 years working for six banks in two buildings, one gets to know how bank examiners work or at least some of it.

  The examiners would go through our investment accounts like the bonds, stock, etc and etc., then the examiners would send correspondence to account holders requesting verification of the account and amount, etc.  The examiners would go through us as if using a flea comb looking for irregularities.  Of course, as Madoff has proven; it is sometimes hard to catch a thief.

  One time, there was a bank examiner who would go through people’s waste baskets.  Of course this one bank examiner had smelled a rat and was digging deep for irregularities.

  Then again having been close friends with past examiners, one can say they do party and play at times.  They like to play practical jokes on one another as well as cover for their podna’s too.

  At one time, a bank would take the examiners out to lunch but that is now history thanks to people like Bert Lance and Jessie James.  The examiners loved to go to the boat clubs or country clubs for their luncheon.  Many would drink their lunch thus making a day of the lunch.

  Mind you lots of people drink their lunches, so it is not all government people.

  Bankers are not angels by any means.  Many have sticky fingers and I’ll share a few tales with you if you are interested.

  The story goes that this one banker would make all these restaurant loans to persons and get a five or ten thousand dollar kickback for making the loan. 

  Then there was this banker who got a kickback on each loan approved for a certain dealer until company management got air of the deal.

  Then there was the banker who would make leg loans.  Now let me tell you, that is a brave man or fool, one way or the other, some poor fool is going to have to collect it.  Been known to collect a few leg loans in my career from bankers who had gone down the road; the customers sure gets perturbed when they have to fork over the cash for their little sweetie’s monthly note.    

  This one customer would take notes out for persons of his religious sect to sign and he would then return the signed notes to the bank.  This person was an outstanding person of the community, big in the church, etc, etc and of course etc.  He forged I don’t know how many of the notes thinking he was helping the church and all.  

January 26, 2009

Six more weeks and you can run your clock up an hour.  Time flies when you are having fun so hang on, spring will be here the following week. 

   Tomato plants are in the stores and must say they are right proud of them.  Singles they are, the six pack plants will be out in due time. 

  Numerous bits of humor relating to retirement are coming my way, as well as advice from others.  Some say you will enjoy retirement and after a while wonder when you had time to work.  Some others say you will not like it or what are you going to do when you get everything done?    Retirement is sort of like being in the credit business.  You are never caught up; someone is always past due and needs a phone call reminder.

  Just like housework, it ain't never done and I ain’t ironing like a couple of my very much domesticated buddies.  That is pushing too far and I tell them, “At least you know your place.”

  Bout worked out a schedule to help fulfill my retirement time to keep me content and out of trouble.  Figer Monday is M and M is for mopping or swabbing the deck to you deck apes.  Maybe a little yard work afterwards and if it warms up a tad, maybe wack a few golf balls in the back yard.

  Tuesday as in T is for theatre and I actually spent good money last week to go see Gran Torino.  Not been to a picture show since Star Wars came out.  Had a fill of the movies already and will have to T for tinker in the garage on Tuesdays and do some yard work.  There ain’t no dollar and a half movie anymore by crackie.

  W is for Wednesday and the day the grocery ads break in the big city paper.  Will do some shopping for what is on sale and surprise the Mrs. with a good suppers when she gets in from work.

  T for Thursday and it is for trimming up the fat boy.  My gym membership is due to expire in another month and think there is enough concrete around here to walk on without spending all that cash to see others sashay in front of the mirrors flexing their stuff.  One would think with as much walking as I do in the grocery stores and Wal-Mart that I would not need much exercise.  The Mrs. says the exercise I need is pushing away from the table.

  Fridays is F and that is fish day.  Not for any religious purpose but because of all the fish eaters around, fish should be more plentiful on Fridays.  There is the Good Times Marina down on the river that has a huge catfish feed each Friday and it’s all you can eat for about nine bucks.  Also Cracker Barrel has its Cod Fish Fridays and it is sooooo good if you eat the cod fishes.

  Frankly, we like the cod fish from Sam’s and prepare it in Charlie’s Kitchen.  Put your feet under my table and you too will have problems pushing away.

  Saturday and Sundays are for resting for the next week.

January 11, 2009

This section of the website will be used to add Charlie Farrar's anecdotal stories like he put in his book Two Cents Worth.  He writes a column for a newspaper in Texas and has agreed to provide those stories to us.  Hope you enjoy.

  Gave up my day job last week, might be a mistake, but Obama will be sending me a check every month going forward.  Having reached the age of social security eligibility, thought I’d go ahead and get in line for some of it while it is still available.  Ain’t gonna make up for two day job pay checks a month but time will tell.

  Having given up the day job, had to turn in the company provided cell phone and purchase one of my own.  Trouble begins when I get declined for a phone.  They said I have a block on my credit and in order for them to run the credit; the Credit Bureau must telephone me and ask my permission.  It was not as easy as getting on the phone and saying, yea it’s me, go ahead on.  Oh no, THEY have to call ME, but we told them I have NO phone and that is what I was attempting to purchase. 

  Even drove 37 miles to North Houston to the Credit Bureau’s office on the Beltway.  That’s mileage one way mind you.  The office was an about 12 X 12 with two stacks of forms for you to fill out and send to Dallas, 390 miles north.  Via email, the Credit Bureau says they have no office in Houston to sit with customers. 

  After five days of not having a phone and checking phones and carriers, Verizon so graciously let me get deeply indebted for the phones selected.  Having had years of previous service with Verizon, it was not necessary for them to run a credit report thus allowing me to get the phone of choice.  Got me a LG Dare and they dare you to learn how to use it.  Touch phone tis, missed the first two calls from my son because I didn’t know how to operate the thing.  They have come a long way from the finger dialing days.

  Took a character course yesterday, my old gone but not forgotten garden guru from Crosby said turning the garden with a shovel will build your character, so that is what I managed to get done.  Found three potatoes missed from last year so they’ll be in a pot later on today. 

  It may seem early but there will be tomatoes in the garden on Goose Creek next month by crackie.  Have to break out the duty buckets in case it gets down to freezing.  Onions are coming on so since tomatoes love onions, should be a good year.  Will plant some marigolds to help ward off a number of harmful insects including nematodes, Japanese beetles and aphids. 

  If it ain’t too wet to plow, get out in your garden and do some character building, providing you got the back for it. 

December 12, 2008

  Me and the Mrs.  recently went back to the land of our elopement, South Carolina for a long weekend.

  Mind you, she is a natural Texan while I’m a Georgia cracker.  We met in Lancaster, SC back in 1969 to get married.  She rode a Greyhound from Knoxville, TN and I drove a Volkswagen from Wilmington, NC.

  We got married, went on a two day honeymoon and back to Knoxville she went and back to Wilmington for me.  She was a student at UT, which stands for University of Tennessee,  because when we moved to Texas, I wondered why they had so many Volunteer fans down here.

  She finished that quarter of school and headed to Wilmington on a Greyhound.  We honey mooned again too.  Her Daddy wanted to shoot the moon and me when she told him we got married. 

  We flew this time to Charlotte, rode down to the Catawba River backwaters and stayed at old sister’s home on the river.  Got treated like company because we had handmade biscuits every morning and must say it’s been a while.  Pretty country up there but out in the boonies when it comes to using a cell phone. 

  Saw my first titmouse on the front porch rail.  That is a bird in case you are thinking otherwise.   It got to 24 degrees one morning while we were there and to think I left 60 degree weather for that.  Then it snowed 4 - 5 inches here this past week so seems like it’s hard to stay warm.

  Managed to pick the green tomatoes the day before it snowed and got enough to make a batch of chowchow this past weekend.  Only put one pod of jalapeno in the batch with two heads of cabbage, 5# green tomatoes, 6 large onion, 4 bell pepper with spices and ended up being something similar a pickled relish.  Cannot even create a spark with this batch if you savvy.

  The Mrs. wanted to argue yesterday about who was going to mop the kitchen floor.  No joke, she wanted to get right huffy about it so I started mopping to shut her up.

  She uses that towel on a stick to mop and it’s not my most favorite tool to swab the deck if you savvy.  Bought my own mop with cotton strings and it does the trick, wring it out with your hands, spin it in your palms and turn too.  Keep it clean and you will get a good job out of it.

  Back in the Coast Guard, we would tie the swab to a length of rope with half hitches up the handle and drag it off the fantail while underway.  Nothing better than seawater to clean a mop.  Helps to beat the tar out of it too.

  If she’ll sweep it, I will mop it, ain’t many of y’all can say that so Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, this is the final TCW for 2008.

  Till then!

November 23, 2008

  Turkey Day, tis.  Just us two this year, no company, two mean old cats and they are finicky eaters.

  Just as soon go get a bucket of chicken, Cole slaw and some jalapenos but the Mrs. likes to stick with tradition, so guess I’ll cook tradition even if it is just the two of us.    Hey, at least I know my place! 

  Been Cadillac’n it lately.  Got me a new set of cook wear at Sam’s.  Three skillets and it is something else compared to those old cripple, warped and scratched skillets we had.  Threw every one of them out except the cast iron ones.  Simple things for simple people but I do like the new skillets.  Can flip two eggs now just like they do at the Waffle House. (without’em sticking)  Not to mention they are actually flat on the bottom. 

  Saw a $150 box of pots and pans at Sam’s but kept on walking.  Does it matter if you have matched kitchen cooking pots and pans?  There are two under the counter we’ve had since we first got married.  The Dutch oven is what I do my hot water bath in canning my chowchow and will not dispense of it.  The other has no handle and has to be picked up with two hot pads.  Guess I got it around for sentimental reasons as it is a good pot, just no handle.

  Hunt & pecking this article on a new state of the art PC with an updated version of Microsoft Word.  Needless to say, we ain’t gee-hawing, nare bit!  Where things used to be is no more, trying to format this, they changed the whole thing.  Next is me and Spell Check, Oh Lordy! 

Just like that new DVD Recorder we got last Christmas.  Got it hooked up last week and still trying to figure out the remote.  The Mrs. appears to be better at it than me so she’s in charge.

  Now my day job employer tells me they are giving me a new cellular telephone.  Sent a whining email that I just learned how to do the voice mail on the one I currently use and they are changing horses in mid stream on me; should get the new phone this week.

  Ole Johnny Cash said, “Life ain’t easy for a boy named Sue”.  I can say, life ain’t easy with a new DVD remote control, new PC with no remote and Four Dog to talk to.

 Not really interested in getting another dog though since attachments come too easily.

November 9, 2008

  Me and the Mrs. went to visit one of the twins in Pennsylvania over a four-day weekend last weekend.  That satisfied our thirty-ninth anniversary gift to each other by getting to see grandkids seldom seen.

  A fer piece Pennsylvania is, less than three hours by air, two days by car and almost two months by mule and wagon.  If I get up there once a year I consider myself lucky.  Besides, ain’t nothing up there but Yankees.

  We were about thirty something miles from Gettysburg, PA but still have not made the site tour of the old battleground.  Want to find me a musket ball and have been told you can walk the fields out there and might find one. 

  The boy did take me just up the road to see Three Mile Island if you recall that nuclear plant disaster back in 1979?  Do not think I would want to live near one of them things.

That nuclear plant could get hot enough to melt all those lead musket balls over in Gettysburg but luckily, those plants are mostly safe.

  Managed to get to one of the markets in York where some of the Amish come to sell their wares, veggies and food products; bought a jar of their pickled beets…good stuff.

  Back to Texas and the ole grindstone, at least it was a four-day work week and the best kind.  The Mrs. seems to be in a better mood for the time being.  Give it another week, things will be back to normal.

  Took a tour of the garden of weedin this morning, fertilized the tomatoes, pinched off half dozen suckers, slapped dozens of mosquitoes and gave it all a good drink of water.

  When I dug the potatoes before we went to Montana, must have left a few in the ground because there are potato tops over a foot tall in the garden and a few onions.

  We get enough tomatoes, there will be a final 08 makings of chowchow for the year, and might make this a hot batch. 

  Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, do not eat too much.

October 26, 2008
    Voted last week and got aggravated at the same time. 

  After I parked and headed for the door entrance of the voting place, the hawkers were out like buzzards.  They are on people like chickens on a June bug passing out literature for selective candidates and/ or bosses.  Most of this literature usually ends up as litter.

  The hawkers would walk up and ask, “You going to vote?”

  My comment to one was, “No, I’m going in here to eat”.  

  Those people (hawkers) should not be allowed to hang outside of polling places pushing their candidate.

  You would think most folks going to the polls have already decided for whom they will vote. 

  One fellow says it is a waste of time and an annoyance for anyone who is just peacefully trying to vote.  He stands up for free speech but the hawkers are just annoying.

  Back when we voted at a local school, the hawkers were in the driveway as we were going to park.  After making a few choice words with the window rolled up, evidently they can read lips and backed off.

  You voted yet?

  Me and the Mrs. have an anniversary coming up this weekend and I ain’t got a clue as what to get her.  39 years and holding, my but time marches on. 

  Checked Google and it recommends lace as it is the lace anniversary.  Only thing I can think of with lace is drawers.  Can you imagine me going into the woman’s department of the store and asking to buy some drawers with lace for my wife?

  Maybe calling them women’s underwear is more proper or step-ins, bloomers or knickers?

  It ain’t going to happen anyway.

  Would not mind going back to the cabin where we spent our honeymoon on the backwaters of the Catawba River in South Carolina.  That too is out because it has been sold.

  Her ole daddy was madder than a hornet when she told him we had gotten married.  Disowned her too for a while. 

  Reminded him years later about all the money we saved them with our elopement; he did not have much to say about that.

  She would not marry me on 31 October, said she could not stand the thought of me coming up to her each year and saying trick or treat.

October 12, 2008

  Took a little trip across the mighty Mississip headed for a reunion in Georgia (USA).

  The town in which I was raised had over half dozen cotton mills.  Dunson Mill had its own little village, pool and school; attended the school but grew up in the pool.  Over 320 people attended the event held at a restaurant.  That same restaurant used to be the cattle barn where my granddad once bought a milk cow and mules.

  Numerous persons whom I have not seen in over 50 years were in attendance.

  Time sure changes things and people; made me feel better to see some who had aches, limps and pains too. 

  The airports are something else with all the security around and what one has to go through to board an aircraft. 

  Thousands and thousands of people go thru the line and machine that scans for anything metal.  Empty your pockets, place in the plastic dishpans to go thru x-ray.  Shoes must also be removed and you walk through this arched machine.  Just think of all the nasty feet that have also walked on the same floor where you stand. 

  I made a comment to the woman in front of me, “I’m glad I washed.” 

  Watching TV one evening on the trip, one of my aunts called this girl on the screen, “Goat Eyes”.  Never heard someone called that, so I asked her what she meant by Goat Eyes. 

  Long story short, said she has long looking pale eyes.  OK

  While having breakfast with my former neighbor, a WWII vet who says he had seen it all over there.

  Anyway, this old soldier was a paratrooper, military policeman and is a devout member of AA.  He can sure tell some tales of times of old, a quart a day!

  In conversation about some people I know, he told me I need to watch folks like that, saying, “They will $#*+ in your mess kit”.

  Managed to make it to the grocery store and picked up several packages of country ham to bring back.  It is hard to find in this part of Texas; country ham is cured with salt. 

  Have to let the ham sit in a bowl of water to get rid of some of the salt.

  That ham and the red eye gravy you get when coffee is added is called, “Trip to the hospital food” because of the fat content and all that salt.  It is good on a biscuit!

  Everybody asked about Ike. 

  The new car that was rented ran like a sewing machine.  The radio would only pick up signals when I topped a hill, then it would go silent on the way down.

  The temperature got in the forties while I was there and I can assure you, it is good to be back on flat ground, heat, my bed and the Mrs.